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Goodbye, Harry Potter

July 11, 2011 R.L. Naquin 3

Thirteen years ago, J. K. Rowling captured lightning in a bottle and stamped it across Harryâ€™s forehead as his signature scar.

The success of Harry Potter and the Philosopherâ€™s Stone was unexpected, came out of nowhere, and swept across the world in a feeding frenzy. Momentum gathered, and the first movie, Harry Potter and the Sorcererâ€™s Stone, was released three short years later. What followed was a phenomenon both the publishing and the film industries will be hard-pressed to duplicate.

This weekâ€™s release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 has been ten years in coming, and weâ€™ve journeyed far with the characters. From the first movie to the last, change drove the franchise forward. There was nothing stagnant about the characters or the films. […]

Horrible Bosses (2011) -vs- Office Space (1999)

July 11, 2011 Rebecca Coffindaffer 2

We love to watch glamorous Hollywood people be glamorous. More than that, we love to watch glamorous Hollywood people pretend to be Just Like Us and satirize the humdrum jobs the majority of Americans — at least, those of us lucky enough to be employed — are stuck with.

Thatâ€™s the reason workplace comedies go over so well: Theyâ€™re accessible and relatable, and God, donâ€™t we all need a good laugh to get through the work week now and again. Itâ€™s a time-honored tradition from The Apartment to 9 to 5, and it even includes Dilbert and The Office, for those whose tastes run toward comic strips and TV.

When these satirized workers, over-burdened with indignities, finally snap, we get an offshoot of the office comedy — the Everyman-gets-his-revenge line, which serves up a satisfying order of comeuppance along with the laughs. Mike Judgeâ€™s Office Space typifies this subgenre, looking to prove there are still plenty of laughs to be milked from the rebellion of the American cubicle jockey. Now Horrible Bosses takes the ring against it with an impressive opening weekend at the box office. […]

Zookeeper (2011) -vs- Dr. Dolittle (1998)

July 10, 2011 Nicole Marchesani 2

Animals have more acute senses than people do and an entirely different way of looking at things, so it stands to reason that audiences have been lapping up talking animal stories since that snake was introduced in the first act of Genesis. Hollywood really pricked up its ears back in â€™98, when the Dr. Dolittle remake starring Eddie Murphy became the highest grossing live-action film ever made in the genre. Thatâ€™s when the industry started tossing them out like so many chew-toys: the Babe sequel, Stuart Little, Narniaâ€¦ and that doesnâ€™t even count animation.

Now, along comes Zookeeper, which has more than a few things in common with the good Doctor: a depressed animal that needs tender loving care, a know-it-all beast that dispenses good advice when necessary, a really annoying creature that talks too much, and a likable human being — in this case played by Kevin James — who has less success with his own species than he does with his furry friends. Dr. Dolittle and Zookeeper both go for the laughs, but both also play as wish-fulfillment for the odd duck within us all — the one that craves a little primal understanding when we donâ€™t quite fit in. […]

The Chameleon (2011) -vs- Changeling (2008)

July 9, 2011 Ben Silverio 3

â€œBased on a true storyâ€ is where the real world and the cinematic world collide. Whether it be a romantic comedy, a micro-budget horror movie, or a courtroom drama, a film with that label carries weight vicariously, intriguing viewers with the promise that the story, or something like it, actually occurred and in fact could have happened to them.

Both The Chameleon and Changeling explore cases of unexpected reappearances of missing children and the dark secrets surrounding their returns. However, the two films take different approaches in point of view. In The Chameleon, the story is about a professional liar assuming a missing teenage boyâ€™s identity, while Changeling focuses on a mother who, after her nine-year-old son is kidnapped, must deal with the trauma when police return the wrong child and insist heâ€™s her son.

These stories involve what Hollywood sometimes calls â€œdifficult subject matter,â€ which may be why Changeling, despite an A-List pedigree and considerable critical success, performed only modestly at the box office. The fact that it was based on a true story may have helped in some ways and hurt in others. Now viewers have the chance to experience two nightmarish family dramas, their attention heightened by the knowledge that both films hew more or less closely to true events. For those who can only take so much family angst, clearly a Smackdown is in order. Accept no substitutes. […]

Top 10 Horrible Movie Bosses

July 7, 2011 The FilmGuru 5

This week, Horrible Bosses comes to theaters. Movies about the workplace are as old as the art of cinema. And while we usually go to the movies to escape the real world, sometimes reality canâ€™t help but leak through. We often see characters we recognize, and that even includes bosses.

In Horrible Bosses, Nick Hendricks (Jason Bateman), Dale Arbus (Charlie Day) and Kurt Buckman (Jason Sudeikis) have had it with their bosses. But what can you do when your boss is a psycho, a man-eater, or a total tool? Quitting is not an option. So, the guys devise a convoluted but foolproof plan to rid the world of their respective employersâ€¦ permanently.

Weâ€™re not recommending that our readers end bad workplace relationships so drastically. The truth is, no matter how bad your boss is, it could be worse.

We wouldnâ€™t wish these bosses on anyone. These are the baddest of the bad. So the next time your boss is hounding you about missed deadlines or asking you to help him download Angry Birds on his iPhone, remember that it could be worse. You could have one of these cinematic horrible VIPs. […]

The Tree of Life (2011) -vs- The Fountain (2006)

July 6, 2011 Mark Sanchez 9

The universe is full of mystery: What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? If God exists, why does He allow evil? And perhaps most perplexing of all, how did not one, but two Hollywood productions in the last five years attract major financing for projects tackling those kinds of questions without linear stories that film critics, not to mention common moviegoers, could understand?

Well, the good Lord works in mysterious ways, and in the case of writer-director Terrence Malickâ€™s The Tree of Life (now in theaters) and The Fountain (2006), written and directed by Darren Aronofsky with help on the story from Ari Handel, we are arguably better off for it.

Reactions are all over the lot on Malickâ€™s latest opus, and so is the film, which examines a Texas familyâ€™s extended life and reaches for an emotional link connecting it to all of creation. Aronofskyâ€™s metaphysical missile, on the other hand, describes a parabola between life and death, attempting to shed light on lifeâ€™s essence through a sort of tag-team narrative, part of which deals with a literal search for â€” wait for it â€” the tree of life. […]

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) -vs- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) -vs- Transformers (2007)

July 4, 2011 Rodney Twelftree 2

The ultimate Hollywood movie pitch would have gone something like this: let’s get some giant alien robots, who can change into a variety of cars, planes and other machines, bring their eon-long war to Earth. A young teenage boy befriends one of these robots, and assists the Autobots in their battle against Megatron and the Decepticons. Cue massive destruction and special effects. Sure, that’ll work! Michael Bay’s epic trilogy of transforming robotic lifeforms comes to a conclusion with 2011’s Dark of The Moon, the blow-out finale to what has been, effectively, a massive financial success for Paramount Pictures. In this Smackdown, take a look at each of the three films and see which one truly does deliver more than meets the eye!

Dark Of The Moon is the most recent Transformers movie to be released, and is by far the most accomplished in terms of production design and scale. The finale of Michael Bay’s involvement with the robotic saga comes to a blistering conclusion with the near-obliteration of Chicago, and the resolution of Sam’s isolation from his Autobot pals. Yes, Sam’s finished college, and is out in the workforce looking for a job – something he’s finding difficult while he’s living with the gorgeous replacement for Mikaela, Carly. He’s also a little angry at being frozen out of contact with Bumblebee and the Autobots, since their missions with the US military to locate and prevent Decepticons rising up once more has taken precedence over the young mans friendship. […]

Larry Crowne (2011) -vs- The Company Men (2010)

July 2, 2011 Mark Sanchez 4

With unemployment staring down more than 14 million Americans, itâ€™s natural to want to address the issue on screen. Hollywood has helped define hard times before, through a range of classic films from The Grapes of Wrath to Itâ€™s a Wonderful Life. But making an uplifting film about surviving the loss of a job is tough. The best movies — like the best people — transform that disappointment into something different, and thatâ€™s the challenge our two competitors each tackle in their own way.

Tom Hanks mines the vein with a lighter touch in Larry Crowne, which he directed, starred in and co-wrote with Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding). Despite the uncomfortable subject matter, his Academy Awards, box office history and talent made this an easy project to green light. With Julia Roberts on board, the studio is clearly hoping this comedy about being on the wrong side of downsizing will be too big to fail.

The Company Men, released at Christmastime for Oscar consideration and expanded wide last January, shows us more realistically what itâ€™s like to be squeezed out of the office: Longtime friends carry out their boxes of possessions and, like a re-enactment of Dead Man Walking in the workplace, those left behind wonder whoâ€™s next. We learn both whoâ€™s next and what they must endure in this film by writer and first-time movie director John Wells, featuring Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper and Kevin Costner looking for traction and self-respect in a bad economy. […]

The Transformers Trilogy -vs- The Spider-Man Trilogy

July 1, 2011 Rodney Twelftree 7

Giant robots fighting on Earth. Heroic spider-themed young man finding his way in the world. Measure out in equal increments, stir rapidly until explosions and effects look shiny, and serve with a cool drink and surround sound. The ultimate trilogy Smack (at least for this year!) finally lands on Earth, as we put Optimus Prime, the Decepticons and all that Bayhem into the Smackring with Spider-Man, Doc Oc, Sandman and Mary Jane Watson. And we all know Kirsten Dunst can land a punch.

It’s The Spider-Man Trilogy vs The Transformers Trilogy. It’s all out geek-cool Smackness!!! […]

Brokedown Palace (1999) -vs- Return to Paradise (1998)

June 29, 2011 Mark Sanchez 1

Oh, to be young, independent, sexyâ€¦ and rotting in some hellhole of a foreign prison.

Young Americans take a lot of things for granted. The right to party, to be spontaneous, to make quick friends, to stiff a rental service or skate on some free drinks, that kind of thing. Mostly they get away with it, and when things go bad, they can usually talk their way out of the consequences or get a lawyer to talk for them.

Around the time Bill Clinton was getting impeached for breaking the rules himself, Hollywood got in a game of chicken on two films about young American travelers who make some mistakes in judgment, run afoul of very strict drug laws and end up in nightmares they canâ€™t wake up from. […]

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