Oscars 2012: The Final Word
What can one say about such a non-event as the 2012 Oscars? Perhaps not quite that it was “The Most Boring Oscars Ever!!!!,†as Nikki Finke is apparently obligated to say about every Oscarcast. But […]
2012
We’ve Pre-Smacked All the Oscar Noms Just for You!
Because we are diligent culture-watchers operating here at The Smack, we come to this day well-prepared. We’ve had each of the nominated “Best Picture†films in the Smack ring already. Not all of the films below even won their Smacks, but we’re not telling which ones. 😉
This offers us the chance, here in this single post, to create a gateway for you to lots of fresh writing, keen observation and (of course) a general lack of respect for authority, cinematic or otherwise. It gives me a chance to brag about the talent of Art Tiersky, Eric Volkman, Nicole Marchesani, Mark Sanchez, Rebecca Coffindaffer and Ben Silverio; their work is all available below. The really great artwork below and above is all from Lynda Karr. […]
The Descendants (2011) -vs- About Schmidt (2002)
The need for a Smackdown between writer/director Alexander Payne’s earlier effort About Schimidt and his Oscar nominated The Descendants is so obvious that we just can’t let the final days before the Academy Awards go by without […]
Oscar Week at the Smack
Members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences have their way of picking movie winners; we have ours. We’re not gonna say Movie Smackdown’s way is necessarily better than its Oscar competition, although […]
This Means War -vs- How Do You Know
Seriously, why do studios think that men are standing in line to fight over Reese Witherspoon’s affections? Do the greenlights come from male executives who have a thing for Reese, or do they come from […]
The Secret World of Arrietty (2010) -vs- The Borrowers (1997)
The Smackdown Prior to Harry Potter, Mary Norton’s cherished, 1952 novel The Borrowers was a prime example of a children’s book that had as much to say between the lines as in them. For those […]
Albert Nobbs: A Cross-Dressing Downton Abbey
The film Albert Nobbs — a cross-dressing version of Downton Abbey — features Glenn Close dressed as a man the entire movie. She plays the title character, a 19th-century Dublin woman who passes as a man so she can work as a waiter. I’ll bet confused waiters all over the world are racing off to check the movie listings even as we speak.
The look is so bizarre that my daughter who attended the screening with me expressed her fear after the film that she’s going to have nightmares about the character. But the voting members of the film Academy gave Close an Oscar nomination. . […]
Whitney -vs- Whitney: The Match-Up No One Wanted to See
That life is over. We all know the reasons, even as we await an autopsy report. Does it matter what they will find? The scourge of modern life, addiction, turned her away from her calling and purpose and took her life. For this conflict, there was no bodyguard to protect her. There should have been, of course, but on this struggle, friends and family can only do so much. The news coverage over the next week will shine some light on this. […]
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2012) -vs- Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)
You have to hand it to French science fiction writer Jules Verne. More than a century after his death, he not only continues to be a best-selling author, his books still provide ripe material for movie adaptations. 2008’s Journey to the Center of the Earth was a more or less straightforward adaptation of Verne’s adventure story aimed at kids, and while its similarly targeted sequel, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, drifts a little from its origins, much of Verne’s content is used in the movie. Essentially, both are old-fashioned, earnest, quest movies spiced up a bit with contemporary references for the target audience, with 3D added to give the kids some funky eye candy. […]
The Vow (2012) -vs- 50 First Dates (2004)
Artistic women with memory loss and the men who love them — that’s the premise of both The Vow, out this weekend with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum in the lead roles, and 50 First Dates (2004), starring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler. These films play against the standard boy-girl movie cliché, in that it’s the guys who know they’ve found their true romantic matches, and the women who, after seemingly falling in love, treat them like they’ve never seen them before. Of course, there’s a reason for that, and it has to do, in both cases, with brain trauma. Love may conquer all, but only if you can remember you’re in love. […]